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I Love Spam

I love spam. I’m not talking about pieces of unwanted email or blog comments. I’m of course talking about the canned meat product from Hormel Foods Corporation. It’s not just food, it’s a pop culture phenom.

old spam ad

For those living under a rock or countries where they don’t get the internet, Spam is Hormel’s brand of canned luncheon meat. It’s supposed to be a contraction of the words ’shoulder of pork and ham’. Other sources say it stands for ’spiced ham’.

But the name was actually coined by Kenneth Daigneau, who back in the 1930s won a naming contest by Hormel. It was said that market share was slipping, so they held a contest to name the product then known as ‘Hormel Spiced Ham’. What bothers me is why they needed the contest in the first place, if all they were going to name it is spam. I’m sure it needed a lot of creativity to go from ‘Hormel Spiced Ham’ to SPAM.

Spam is supposed to be chopped pork shoulder meat, ham, sugar, salt, water and the ever wholesome, all natural sodium nitrite. These ingredients are pre-cooked and packed into a can that is neither round or angular. I actually like this unnatural union of ingredients. I actually like how it tastes. I eat it, even if I actually think that its jest meaning ‘Something Posing As Meat’ could actually be justified.

So what is really in spam? How you ever wondered? Could we all been had? Some say its all left over animal parts. This includes the eyes, snouts, hooves, the face and all those gross parts. But if that is the case, then I have no problems with it. Those things are edible and in fact they are eaten as delicacies in my country. There are worse things you can eat than random animal parts.

All these remind me of the famous Monty Python sketch, where they have this cafe where everything in their menu has spam in it. It’s a funny sketch. But in the Philippines, we actually have a restaurant just like that. Everything has spam except the french fries and the hotdogs. It’s called Spam Jam, which when I hear make me think of pureed sweetened spam. Which come to think of it, actually sounds disgusting.

So even though I don’t know what the hell it is, I eat and actually like spam. Hope I don’t die from hypertension due to excess sodium in my blood. If I do, then you’re free to pry the SPAM can from my cold dead fingers.

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